Two Years Ago Today.....

Today marks the second anniversary of my bilateral mastectomy and DIEP surgery!!! How amazing!! It's hard not to think about on March 29th. As I was exercising this morning with Mike at 5am, I kept asking him if he remembered what we were doing two years ago at this time. Then five minutes later I asked him again, then again and again, until about 7:30 at which time I was taken to the OR with Dr. Tobias.

As my day wore on I didn't give it much thought, until now when I looked at the clock and saw 7:15pm. Two years ago I was still in surgery. It had been about 12 hours and I still had 4.5 to go. Of course I felt nothing until the wee hours of the morning. But my husband had to wait and worry all day long. Not that I remember this, but it was pouring rain. Mike tells me that he walked and walked and walked around Boston that day in the pouring rain. It rained so hard that week that there was record-breaking flooding in Rhode Island. I do remember seeing that on the news when I began to recover.

So anyway, on my second anniversary, I am proud of myself for deciding on the PBM + DIEP, am eternally grateful to Dr. Tobias, Maria and Dr. Curtis. I could never have found a more talented, more caring team in the world. I am also relieved to have all of this in my rearview mirror.

As time goes on the memories fade, but the appreciation for my family and friends grows. It was tough to hang in there with me as I researched and researched and researched for a year and a half. I am reminded of their love and support for me each time I have the opportunity to pay it forward.

From this blog I have found new DIEP sisters.....Sara, Kristine, Jen, Carol, Laurie and many others who have reached out as they have moved forward with their own DIEP journeys.

Just before my surgery, DIEP sister, Jen, told me, "You will go back to your normal when all this is over. It's still you and your life." She was so right!! Before surgery I thought that my whole life would change (I actually thought I might die). In the end, everything is the same, but better, SO MUCH BETTER.

Thanks for visiting,
Love,
Joanie

PS. Here's one last thought.....I found this quote on my blog and thought it would fitting for how I feel now when looking back.....

It's a quote by Joseph Campbell that speaks to how life sends us down unexpected pathways. It is from these pathways that we bring depth and color to our lives. 

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, 
so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

Moving on.....

It's been a week since my Stage II DIEP surgery and I must really be moving on since I have yet to post pictures of my awesome bruises. When I look back to even a year ago, I was living and breathing this whole bilateral mastectomy with DIEP thing. Should I or shouldn't I? I knew I wanted to reduce my risk of breast cancer, but wasn't so sure I could actually go through with a PBM + DIEP. And now, it's been what, maybe 8 months, and I don't even think about it anymore. The fears that were trying to hold me back are gone.

Since I didn't share any pictures of DIEP Stage II, I will do that now. It looks worse than it it feels. Dr. Tobias did lipo on my thighs, waist and belly and it looks fabulous. There is minimal bruising in the other areas, so of course I post the "worst" pictures.

I am still wearing two binders, one for my breasts and one for my belly. I have them on for just about 24-hours each day. I don't mind them and I feel safer around kids when I have them on, so it works for me. On Thrusday I will have my follow-up in Boston. Then I will be done until tattooing sometime in February.

When I say "moving on...." I mean that this chapter of MY life is coming to an end. No more surgeries, no more Boston medical trips, no more appointments (which I will miss), no more worries. But what isn't going to change is my commitment to other women who are considering the DIEP. I will be there 100% for anyone who has questions about this procedure, my medical team, my recovery, etc. If anyone has questions please feel free to ask me. I also have two Boston DIEP "Sisters" who have had invasive breast cancer and have done the DIEP who, I am sure, would be happy to help as well.

My blog will stay up, but my posts will stop in time. Officially I won't stop blogging until after my tattooing and on some of my 'big' anniversaries.

So, if you are reading this for the first or the fiftieth time, please know that I am only an email away if you have any questions or just want to reach out. I will always respond. My best to my DIEP sisters and to all the others who have yet to make this journey.

Love,
Joanie

DIEP - Stage II on Friday

We will leave tomorrow morning for Boston. I am very appreciative to my brother and his wife for stepping in to take care of the girls. Since this began I don't know what we would do without our families to help us out. Both girls are looking forward to seeing Uncle Tommy and Aunt Beth.

I know that JieJie and MeiMei are scared. The hardest part of any procedure, whether you are looking at 14+ hours or 3 hours, is leaving my kids. They have been through so much in their short little lives that it pains me to put them through watching us leave - again. They only thing we can tell them is that I will be okay and will be home soon.They are very good about creating their own prayers so I am sure that in their own way they will be right there with me in the OR.

Hopefully Mike will be with me in recovery, so we probably won't be able to post any updates. I have promised calls to my DIEP Sisters - so you will hear from us. Please prayer for a smooth, uneventful, phlegm-ball free operation.