May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!
~ Robert Frost


Welcome to my blog. This is my story of how I faced my risk of breast cancer, the decisions I made, the support I received and my week by week recovery from surgery. I chose to have a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with immediate DIEP reconstruction at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston (March 2010). For more information on my 'Medical Team' please see tab above. I also have a wonderful circle of friends who have supported me throughout. They have provided us with lots of delicious meals and desserts. Many of those recipes are included above under "Feed the Flap" recipes. "Feed the Flap" is a term I coined when trying to increase my abdominal (fat) flap to ensure that I was a good candidate for the DIEP procedure. This was not something recommended by any medical professional, it was just something that made sense to me. I think it worked!! Feel free to join me on this journey and feel free to post comments.

Select the tabs on the left side marked Week 1, Week 2, Week 3..... to go immediately to the surgical/recovery part of this blog.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Do I Really Need to Care?

Well that is the question of the week. As I find myself on the computer during my vacation at our cottage, I am beginning to wonder if I should do anything about my non-invasive cancer. So what if it becomes invasive - it's treatable. That has been my thinking this week. I don't want to have my body cut open and have months (maybe years) of residual pain. For what? It's hard enough being a 50 year old mom of two little children without adding 15 hours of surgery to the mix, not to mention the recovery time.
However, I had a reality check today. I saw an old friend, who had a BM a few years back. She said that se was still on breast cancer medication that had some significant side effects, but was happy to be alive. I last saw her after her bilateral mastectomy. She was upbeat and quite positive. I hadn't realized that for her having breast cancer is an ongoing issue. I had assumed that once you are over the initial trauma to your body and radiation/chemo then all was well. Not so.
I am reminded that I am lucky, very lucky. I truly don't want surgery. I don't want to have my body carved up. I don't want pain. BUT I do want to move on with my life and live it. I don't want to kick myself years down the road if my in situ cancer becomes full blown and I could have done something about it. I don't want to kick myself down the road because I jumped the gun on my in situ cancer and am living with pain from surgery.
This is the strangest situation to be in. The decisions are all mine. MINE. No one else can make these decisions. Just me. My question is: How do you make the right decision? Do I wait? Do I act now? What will tip the balance on this one?

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