May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!
~ Robert Frost


Welcome to my blog. This is my story of how I faced my risk of breast cancer, the decisions I made, the support I received and my week by week recovery from surgery. I chose to have a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with immediate DIEP reconstruction at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston (March 2010). For more information on my 'Medical Team' please see tab above. I also have a wonderful circle of friends who have supported me throughout. They have provided us with lots of delicious meals and desserts. Many of those recipes are included above under "Feed the Flap" recipes. "Feed the Flap" is a term I coined when trying to increase my abdominal (fat) flap to ensure that I was a good candidate for the DIEP procedure. This was not something recommended by any medical professional, it was just something that made sense to me. I think it worked!! Feel free to join me on this journey and feel free to post comments.

Select the tabs on the left side marked Week 1, Week 2, Week 3..... to go immediately to the surgical/recovery part of this blog.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Fear, Worry, Bargaining......

I am actually getting a bit scared. My search for a plastic surgeon is nearing the end, which means that my impending surgery will be scheduled and I will lose my breasts. All this is by choice - sort of. The two-edged sword of LCIS leads me down two roads:

1. Do nothing drastic
2. Do something drastic

If I do nothing drastic then I it may be a matter of time that I get invasive breast cancer and my path will lead to mastectomy, radiation and/or chemo along with the lingering effects of that.

If I do something then I will be heading to surgery sooner rather than later, but I will eliminate the need for radiation and chemo. This makes sense. BUT I am scared. All my life I have been healthy. Other than a couple or car accidents in college and a kidney stone that landed me in the ER, I have been in pretty good shape until I started on the biopsy rollercoaster last September.

There is nothing quite like waiting for the results of a biopsy and having those results take weeks to receive. You get to do alot of thinking during that time. Your options become pretty clear as you wait. You wait. You wonder. You worry. You bargain with God. You pray. You hold your children closer. You connect with those closest to you. You pray. You worry.

As soon as the results come back, life goes back to the new normal. I don't have invasive cancer. You begin to almost forget about it. You move forward. You slip back into denial.

But the ongoing search for the right procedure and the right surgical team continues to keep my feet to the fire and moving toward my goal of reducing my breast cancer risk.

1 comment:

StillPolly said...

I don't know if you accept/welcome comments or not. I happened across your Blog while googling a question regarding the "point of attachment" with regard to my recent DIEP procedure in San Antonio, Tx. I had a bilateral mastectomy on August 12th. I just wanted to offer you a thumbs up that, yes, you're doing the right thing NOT to wait until your LCIS becomes ILC (with resultant node involvement likely as well.) Despite regular mammograms and ultrasounds, my ILC wasn't found until the left nipple inverted and I was at Stage 3. Consider yourself very, very lucky that you lobular cancer has been found before it has become invasive. That doesn't happen very often. Good luck to you. If you have any questions about hte DIEP, I'd be happy to answer anything I can for you. Take care.

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