I am actually getting a bit scared. My search for a plastic surgeon is nearing the end, which means that my impending surgery will be scheduled and I will lose my breasts. All this is by choice - sort of. The two-edged sword of LCIS leads me down two roads:
1. Do nothing drastic
2. Do something drastic
If I do nothing drastic then I it may be a matter of time that I get invasive breast cancer and my path will lead to mastectomy, radiation and/or chemo along with the lingering effects of that.
If I do something then I will be heading to surgery sooner rather than later, but I will eliminate the need for radiation and chemo. This makes sense. BUT I am scared. All my life I have been healthy. Other than a couple or car accidents in college and a kidney stone that landed me in the ER, I have been in pretty good shape until I started on the biopsy rollercoaster last September.
There is nothing quite like waiting for the results of a biopsy and having those results take weeks to receive. You get to do alot of thinking during that time. Your options become pretty clear as you wait. You wait. You wonder. You worry. You bargain with God. You pray. You hold your children closer. You connect with those closest to you. You pray. You worry.
As soon as the results come back, life goes back to the new normal. I don't have invasive cancer. You begin to almost forget about it. You move forward. You slip back into denial.
But the ongoing search for the right procedure and the right surgical team continues to keep my feet to the fire and moving toward my goal of reducing my breast cancer risk.