Some days are just so wonderful and today is one of those days! I am home with MeiMei. We've gone on walk, painted and picked pumpkins! We had a lovely lunch of mac & cheese and mandarin oranges. What I really like is that this is just an ordinary day. As I face one of the biggest decisions of my life, what I really want is just more ordinary days with my family.
I don't want regrets about 'jumping the gun'. My biggest fear is that I will end up with lifelong residual pain because I couldn't continue to live with the risk (50 - 85%) of breast cancer. By the time I have my surgery I hope to have total confidence in my decision. However, in the meantime, I will question everything.
As breast cancer continues to target those all around us I am reminded that I may be jumping the gun (before a diagnosis of invasive bc), but I continue to see just how devastating the diagnosis of bc is when it strikes. Although I worry that my LCIS could be spreading as I type this, I am comforted to know that statistically I am still a Stage 0.
In the next month I will meet with two plastic surgeons in Boston, a breast surgeon in Boston and my current breast surgeon. By the end of October I hope to have my game plan in place. When you are feeling just fine and having an ordinary day it seems so out-of-place that in a few months I will be recovering from a bilateral mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction. Well, I think I will get back to my ordinary day and finishing painting.
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