March 15, 2010! It's overwhelming. The emotions connected to hearing this date are across the board. Relief. Fear. More Relief. More Fear. And believe it or not - pride. I am so damn proud of myself for making a decision. It would have been so much easier to wait and wait and worry and wait.
I will keep this to myself all day. I need to mull it over. I need to see what my 'gut' reaction is. I need to cry a little bit. I need to accept who I am and why I am making this decison.
One thing that does come to mind is that there is absolutely no advocacy from any professional connected to this decision. It's as if each person does his or her own thing. There is no breast center advocate who could help with discussing arrangements for family while I am in the hospital, or helping me to decide if I should come home after the procedure only to drive back to Boston a few days later or someone to just listen as I wrap my mind around my decision. I am not surprised, as this has been my experience from Day One.