Two and a half months and counting. I used to be able to say that my upcoming surgery was 'next' year, but that time has come. Now I am still counting in months, next it will be weeks, then days, then hours, then minutes. I am scared. On New Year's Eve I created my will. What if something goes wrong? I know I can't or shouldn't think that way. But for those of you who know me know that I plan for the worst. Maybe that's bad karma, but I would rather be prepared.
When working on a will there are lots of choices to make. It's not all about money! There were alot of questions about health directives. So, on New Year's Eve I kept asking my DH if he would be willing to make all sorts of gut-wrenching decisions for me. He's a good sport and agreed.
One New Year's Day I started cleansing the house, starting in the attic. By March 15th I want to have my house all organized and orderly. I know in my heart, it's a 'just in case' scenario. I also know that women everyday have this surgery and not only survive it, but (later) say they wouldn't do it any other way.
I am still keeping my decision and my plans close to the chest, so to speak. So far, two of my sisters-in-law know. One sister-in-law is planning to come to my house and stay with the girls. There is no way to thank her for her kindness and generosity if I lived to be 100. I have also told a few of my closest friends. Not many since I don't want that to affect our relationship. I am telling only the people whom I believe will be genuinely helpful to me, DH or my daughters. I am not interested in telling people so that they will be 'in the know'.