May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!
~ Robert Frost


Welcome to my blog. This is my story of how I faced my risk of breast cancer, the decisions I made, the support I received and my week by week recovery from surgery. I chose to have a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with immediate DIEP reconstruction at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston (March 2010). For more information on my 'Medical Team' please see tab above. I also have a wonderful circle of friends who have supported me throughout. They have provided us with lots of delicious meals and desserts. Many of those recipes are included above under "Feed the Flap" recipes. "Feed the Flap" is a term I coined when trying to increase my abdominal (fat) flap to ensure that I was a good candidate for the DIEP procedure. This was not something recommended by any medical professional, it was just something that made sense to me. I think it worked!! Feel free to join me on this journey and feel free to post comments.

Select the tabs on the left side marked Week 1, Week 2, Week 3..... to go immediately to the surgical/recovery part of this blog.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Emotional Rollercoaster

Oh, the poor secretary at JieJie's school. When I told her that JieJie's aunt would be dropping her off and picking her up next week, she thought that DH and I would be going somewhere fun. When I told her what we were doing I almost cried. I felt bad for her. She may never make small talk again after that and she is such a delightful lady!!!

So, it looks like the emotional rollercoaster is still there. A part of me had thought that since I am committed to the surgery that I had moved beyond the sadness, but maybe I am moving into it. I don't know.

When I heard myself say that I was having a bilateral mastectomy it really hit home. Me? Why me? I've said this before, but I can honestly say that early detection is a two-edged sword. It's great because I have information and can take the time to make informed choices, but it's awful because I have the time to gather information and make informed choices. My friends who have journeyed through breast cancer, surgery and treatment as well as the majority of doctors I have seen are on the side of never letting breast cancer take hold. My BRCA friends are with me on this and understand the uniqueness of our position. Although I am not BRCA, we travel the same high risk road. Then there is that one lone oncologist who told me to wait until I got 'real' cancer. She certainly planted doubt in me, but in the end it is my life, my body, my choice.

So, this morning for a few moments I was sad.


Anonymous said...

I can understand why you would be sad. It's okay to feel that way.

But I think you are doing the right thing. I think of people who bravely do this are superheros. Not just going through with the surgery but that you blog about it to offer support to others.

Anonymous said...

Feeling sad is just part of the process. For me the whole thing has been very much the same as mourning the death of a loved one.. and in a way, that's just what you are doing.. You are saying goodbye to an aspect of yourself.. feeling sad is natural, and it's okay. Just try to not let yourself get weighted down in it if you can. Eventually you'll come out the other side.

p.s. the doctor who said that to you was a total tool! Disregard, disregard, disregard!

Teri S.

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