Friday, March 5, 2010
So, it looks like the emotional rollercoaster is still there. A part of me had thought that since I am committed to the surgery that I had moved beyond the sadness, but maybe I am moving into it. I don't know.
When I heard myself say that I was having a bilateral mastectomy it really hit home. Me? Why me? I've said this before, but I can honestly say that early detection is a two-edged sword. It's great because I have information and can take the time to make informed choices, but it's awful because I have the time to gather information and make informed choices. My friends who have journeyed through breast cancer, surgery and treatment as well as the majority of doctors I have seen are on the side of never letting breast cancer take hold. My BRCA friends are with me on this and understand the uniqueness of our position. Although I am not BRCA, we travel the same high risk road. Then there is that one lone oncologist who told me to wait until I got 'real' cancer. She certainly planted doubt in me, but in the end it is my life, my body, my choice.
So, this morning for a few moments I was sad.