Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Week 6 - Day 3
This is my 100th post. When I started this blog about a year ago, I never thought I would go public with it. It was just my little journal and way for me to sort out my feelings about a having a huge surgery or not. Now, less than a year later, I am pleased to share my blog with people all over the world. Even though there are some very hideous pictures of me (see Week 1/Week2 posts), the benefit of sharing my experience outweighs the embarrassment of having the world see me in a not so good light.
A few months ago, I was scouring the internet looking for blogs of women who had walked this road before me. I was desperately trying to find someone whose experience paralleled mine. That someone is Teri over at http://www.myblip.wordpress.com/. About six weeks before me she had a PBM with DIEP and chronicled her story on her blog. One night I found her and connected immediately. Amazingly my stress started to dissipate almost immediately. She wrote about what each day, then what each week was like. I began to feel strong, to feel like I could do it too. As I began my recovery, I went back to her posts to see how my recovery compared to hers. Better yet, she would email me words of encouragement. She is out west and I am about as far east as you can get, but we still became friends. We may never meet, but I can assure you I will always remember her and be grateful to her for her support and encouragement.
I would like to publicly thank all those women who have reached out to me to support me and to share their breast cancer experiences with me, but I won't name them. They don't have blogs and may not want their names posted. So, I will say that they are old old friends, new friends, friends from college, friends from my town and online friends. All of you held a piece to the puzzle I was trying wrap my mind around as I moved toward my surgery date. As the date got closer the puzzle was coming together, but there were still missing pieces. At that point there were a few key connections that were made in person and via the telephone that were instrumental in pumping me up for surgery. I will forever be grateful to each and everyone of you.
And, how do I thank my non-breast cancer friends and family? The cards, the flowers, the meals, the trip to Reny's, the visits, the babysitting.....where do I even begin to thank you? You will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you.
Maria and my medical team were also instrumental in getting me over the hump. On my pre-admission visit to Dr. Tobias, I had four pages of questions. Maria very throughly answered each and every question. She put me at ease. That was a key moment for me. She did this with confidence and humor. She also connected me with another person who had had the same surgery for the same reason just a few months before me. Again, a key piece to the puzzle.
So, for my 100th post, I just wanted to recognize all the people who were instrumental in getting me to where I am today. It was truly a team effort.
However, the one key person I can never thank enough is my Dear Husband. You've read the posts, so you know just what he did to support me before, during and after my surgery. We can now laugh about some of the 'crazy' things that happened (or didn't really happen) in the hours after the surgery, but there were moments of sheer terror for him and he never let me know at the time. He was steady and supportive and loving every minute of every day. I love him and will forever be grateful for his love, patience, understanding and support.